When you hear someone say, “I’m taking a step back,” what comes to mind?
Those words often carry a negative tone for me. I picture someone trying to exit a relationship awkwardly — “I’m taking a step back because we should just be friends.” Or someone conceding defeat — “I’m taking a step back because I can’t win.” Or a person retreating from responsibility — “I’m taking a step back because I need more me time.”
We live in a culture that applauds pushing harder and never quitting, so stepping back usually reads as weakness, loss, or failure. But stepping back can also be a strategic, healthy, and necessary choice. When done with intention, it can help us move forward in our health, work, and life.
In this post I’m stepping back from recipes, food, and photography to share what’s been happening behind the scenes at Fed and Fulfilled.
STEPPING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD: FOR MY HEALTH
I’ve hinted at health issues before, but recent events prompted me to be more open. My health has taken a downturn this past week, and explaining this is the main reason for this post.
My journey started about six years ago with severe mood swings, fatigue, anxiety, and depression tied to my monthly cycle — not just a few days, but nearly two weeks at a time. It affected relationships and daily life, so I sought help from a holistic doctor. Bloodwork revealed hypothyroidism, anemia, and multiple vitamin deficiencies. I began thyroid medication and supplements, but symptoms persisted.
Further testing led to a surprising positive for celiac disease. Giving up gluten and replacing contaminated kitchen items was challenging, but I hoped it would solve everything. It helped with energy and weight, yet mood issues remained.
I dove deeper into nutrition, studying health coaching through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and experimenting with cleaner eating and the Paleo diet. After about a year, my vitamin levels normalized and many symptoms improved. I thought I had found the answer.
We tried to start a family. I became pregnant last summer and did my best to care for my body, but we experienced a loss at 11 weeks — the hardest thing I’ve faced. That season led me to explore another possible factor: MTHFR.
MTHFR (methylene tetrahydrofolate reductase) is a genetic variation that affects processing of folate and B vitamins. It can influence many systems and increase risks in pregnancy. Synthetic folic acid, common in fortified foods and many multivitamins, is problematic for people with MTHFR mutations because they can’t process it properly.
I discovered I had multiple mutations, which left my body much less efficient at processing folate and nutrients. My doctor started me on methylfolate and methylated B vitamins, but treatment for MTHFR can be complex and individualized. To better understand my genetics, I ordered a broad genetic test and began exploring resources to interpret results.
Recently I’ve experienced recurring weeks of fatigue, muscle weakness, anxiety, heart palpitations, decreased appetite, chest and neck discomfort, and swelling. These episodes arrive a few days after my cycle ends and last about a week. At first I suspected thyroid medication. Later I wondered if I’d overmethylated from supplements and adjusted doses. The symptoms recurred again, leaving me uncertain.
One strong possibility now under investigation is adrenal fatigue. Between miscarriage, ongoing health struggles, and the demands of launching a full-time blog, my stress load has been high — and MTHFR can worsen stress response. I’m awaiting adrenal stress test results.
Not knowing what’s wrong has been frightening for someone who likes control. Yet there are practical steps I can take to support healing and avoid working against my body.
Here are 4 ways I’m stepping back to move forward for my health:
- Workout Smarter, Not Harder – I’ll cut back on intense cardio and heavy lifting and focus on low-impact movement like yoga, pilates, barre, and gentle walks.
- Relax, Don’t Rush – I’m reclaiming peaceful mornings: reading, listening to music, longer showers, and gratitude practices instead of constant busyness.
- Simplify, Detoxify – I’m leaning on simple, nourishing foods like bone broth, whole fruits and vegetables, plain proteins, and lemon water. I’m also removing potential environmental toxins from cleaning products and fragrances.
- Let Go, Let God – Instead of frantically self-diagnosing, I’m relying on medical guidance and resting in faith. I’ve made the necessary appointments and am learning to surrender control.
STEPPING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD: WITH MY WORK
The health challenges I’ve faced have also highlighted unsustainable patterns in how I run this blog.
I started Fed and Fulfilled while working part-time in a low-stress administrative role. What began as a hobby grew into a full-time commitment. I love the blog, but I let it consume my schedule. I pressured myself to publish two posts per week, which meant recipe development, multiple test runs, elaborate photo shoots, hours of editing, and late dinners. I became a workaholic and neglected self-care and family time.
Why did I put so much pressure on myself? I wanted to replace my paid job quickly and felt I had to push hard. I’m also a perfectionist, which led to spending excessive time polishing posts before publishing. Fear of failure drove me to overwork until blogging stopped being joyful and became controlling.
My health setbacks clarified that I must change how I work to protect long-term goals. I still want to create great recipes and content, but the blog needs to serve me, not the other way around.
Three changes I’m making so work supports my long-term goals:
- Quality Over Quantity – I’ll focus on producing fewer, higher-quality posts instead of rushing to publish many pieces each week.
- Know When to Quit – I will set clear work hours and boundaries so the blog doesn’t bleed into every hour of the day.
- Imperfect Is Okay – I’m releasing perfectionism. The food and life I share are often messy but still meaningful; mistakes don’t negate value.
STEPPING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD: IN MY LIFE
A friend shared a quote that has stayed with me: “Don’t doubt in the darkness what God has proven to be true in the light.” The past year has been dark at times — miscarriage, health challenges, and seasons of doubt. Watching others move forward while I felt stalled intensified feelings of loss and uncertainty.
I’ve historically tied identity to what I do rather than who I am. When plans shifted, I chased new identities in college, jobs, and blogging. Recently, health problems even compromised my blogging identity, leaving me questioning purpose. Yet feelings are not facts. My faith reminds me that identity ultimately rests in Christ, not in roles or accomplishments.
Several frightening health episodes this week forced reflection on life’s brevity and the value of each day. Rather than sink into self-pity, I can choose gratitude and trust that this chapter is not the end of my story.
Three ways I’m stepping back to move forward in life and faith:
- Practice Patience – I’m learning to wait on God’s timing instead of forcing my own plans and outcomes.
- Be Aware, Don’t Compare – I’ll reduce social media time and invest in real conversations and relationships to stay connected without comparing my journey to others.
- Remember Who You Are – I’m reclaiming my identity as a child of God, which frees me to live purposefully regardless of titles or tasks.
Stepping back isn’t surrendering to defeat; it’s a deliberate act of self-care and realignment. Though this week has been physically and emotionally hard, I believe stepping back will lead to improved health, more sustainable work, and a richer, more faithful life.
Here’s to stepping back and moving forward. Thank you for reading, for your support, and for your prayers.